Do you remember pain once it’s over?
I’m sitting in that question. The pain of birthing my children, I recall, dissolved as soon after I was smitten in the crush of love. The pain faded from memory, where it would never be an influencing factor in the hope of having another.
But I’ve never lost the pain of burying my child. It’s pain that’s never over. Years later, I can crumple and agonize like I did the day he died. It’s so excruciating that it forces me to shift immediately to a beautiful memory of Davis. The salve for the severe burn.
The pain remains so I will never forget my loss. It is the reality check in my life. I am who I now am because of the pain. Maybe the pain I feel is life-giving because it forces me to gasp for air and cling to survival.